Banned for celebrating your un-birthday.

Banned for being the last one to post for over five hours.

Banned for delaying your ban just so you can use that reason.

^ banned for having such a piss-poor reason and even less of a plan to ban a man from Azkaban

Banned for passing the Sorcerer's Kidney Stone.

Banned for eating the Saucerer's sauce source, the Kidney Stone with which he prepares stone soup.

^ both of the members above should be banned for referring to the philosopher's stone as "kidney stone"

Banned for hearing only after you sat down that it's broken; so you dump the Chamber Pot of Secrets out the window when the obvious solution is to teleport the poop away just like the good old days.

^ Banned for teleporting poop.

Banned for gobbling fire and calmly yelling into a child's face.

Banned for thinking that it's possible to calmly yell.

^ banned for yelling, "MORE, MORE, MORE!" with a rebel yell

Banned for ordering a phoenix and clarifying, "Just give me a turkey, and set it on fire."

Banned for ordering a Byzantine emperor "Just take Turkey or set it on fire".

Banned for being a liar liar, with your pants on fire... because you stuffed a turkey down there.

Banned for wearing a white wedding dress, and not shaving off the beard first.