Banned because the way my knife slices precise is trife, it's a demonic device.

Banned for making a deal with the devil.

^ banned because you let her have the Jack

Banned for getting hypnotized by Mystic Dicky.

^ banned for having been misled by the Pied Piper of Hamelin

Banned for piping pies.

^ banned for falling short of an alliteration

^Banned for playing multiple straws as pipes.

Banned for eating multiple strawberry pies.

Banned for expecting me to say, "Panned por piping pies."

Banned for trying to sucker me into buying "ice cream" (which isn't even a cream):

^ banned because it could have been a Boston cream pie

^ banned for not posting, "Banned for not piping poorly prepared plum pies, pipsqueak"

You lost the opportunity for an alliterative perfectly posted plum pie placement.

Banned for stuttering when you said all that.

^ banned for not knowing the difference between a mere post and a short speech

Banned for merely leering at weird meercats.

^ Banned for prodding people somewhere around the left rib cage.